The Fellowship In New York
by ElfVampireVulcanJediSaiyan
Summary: I don't believe it, but Christa and I actually wrote another chapter. Read, you don't have to like it, just read
1. Default Chapter

The Fellowship: Lost in NYC  
  
It was a beautiful day in New York City (or as beautiful as you can get New york city to be what with it being all dirty and crap but anyway) Lara Jones and her good friend Gwen Stone were walking to the nearest subway station to take to get to their jobs. They worked in the heart of New York at an off-Broadway drama company. They were going to be in the Companies latest production of "The Phantom of the Opera" Lara was going to be playing "Meg". Gwen would play Carlotta. Neither had gotten their dream part of playing Christine Daae. But alas maybe next time it would happen. Anyway they got on the subway and headed off towards the company. Lara looked out the window with a forlorn expression on her face.   
"What's the matter?" asked Gwen.   
"Nothing. It's just the same thing every day."  
"What do you mean?"   
"I mean every day it's the same thing. We get up and go to the stupid company and come home"  
"Maybe one day something exciting will happen but until then lets get up, go to the stupid company and come home"  
"Fine" Lara still looked forlornly out the window.   
  
Meanwhile, (actually back in time a couple thousand years) The Fellowship were about to leave Lothlorien. They had been very sad about leaving and still were. Anyway their lives were about to get more exciting.   
It all started when Legolas found the glowy stone on the floor of his room. He had been day-dreaming about the good times. He sighed sadly and looked on the floor of his room. Suddenly he noticed something shining brightly in the sunlight that was drifting in through the window. He picked it up and examined it. It was a small sapphire blue stone. It sparkled brightly in the morning sunlight. Legolas was  
intrigued. The small stone glowed almost unnaturally bright. Legolas wondered what it's purpose was. Oh well. It was really pretty and Legolas was keeping it. He went off to show Aragorn and Frodo his brand new treasure.   
  
Meanwhile back in the real world, Gwen and Lara had gotten to the company and were busy rehearsing their lines. Some of their friends in the company joined them. As they sat rehearsing for the show the director came up to them.   
"Girls we need you up on stage"  
"OK" said Lara and she and Gwen went up on stage to rehearse.   
  
Meanwhile Aragorn and Boromir sat playing chess in Aragorn's room. As Legolas walked down the corridor, he could hear Aragorn screaming at Boromir for cheating.   
"How dare you!?!? That knight wasn't there before! "  
Aragorn leaped across the chess table and began beating Boromir. He was just about to throw a good punch at Boromir when Legolas pushed the door open.  
"Hello" he chriped.  
Aragorn stopped mid-punch and slid back into his chair.   
"Oh hello Legolas. What the hell do you want?"   
"I want to show you this pretty little stone I found in my bedroom."  
"You interrupted our chess game to show us a stone? Thats lovely Legolas. Now run along and play with those little wooden blocks you like."  
"But Aragorn, This stone is really pretty"  
"Yes I'm sure it is Legolas, Now go away"  
"Fine I will" And Legolas stomped angrily out of the room to go to find Frodo and Sam who he was sure would appreciate his precious treasure.  
  
Meanwhile Frodo and Sam were on the deck talking about the good times in Lothlorien.   
Legolas walked up to them. "Hello" he said.  
"Oh hello Legolas" said Sam, as he chucked a stone over the railing and watched it skim the surface of the clear blue green water.   
"Hello" Frodo said, beaming him a smile, "What's up?"  
"Nothing much. I just found this really pretty stone in my bedroom."  
Legolas held out his palm. The small stone rested in the center of it.   
"Ooooohhhhhh," said Frodo and Sam in unison. Legolas noticed the stone glowing even brighter than before. "Ohhh Frodo it likes you" said Legolas.  
  
Meanwhile Gwen and Lara were leaving the company after a long hard day. They took the subway back to their studio apartment. Lara felt really dirty so she went to take a long shower. Gwen started to change out of her stage costume.   
  
Meanwhile the Fellowship minus Gimli, who wasn't feeling very well, was having dinner. Legolas was showing everyone his beautiful glowy rock. Aragorn said irritably, "For God's sakes Legolas, put that thing away."  
"It looks like one of those strange things that transport you to a different time, place, and dimension," Boromir said.  
Suddently there was a blast of light and everyone disappeared except Gimli.   
  
They appeared in Lara and Gwen's studio apartment.   
"Oh yeah, I was right, oh yeah, in yo face, boo-yah!"   
"Oh Shut up Boromir," said Aragorn.  
Gwen who was only dressed in her bra and jeans shouted "What the hell?"  
Gwen looked toward the bathroom. "Lara we have company. Strange company." And sexy, thought Gwen.   
She turned back to the Fellowship. "Who are you guys?"  
The Fellowship began to introduce themselves. "I'm Aragorn, I'm Boromir, I'm Legolas, I'm Frodo, I'm Sam, I'm Merry, and I'm Pippin."  
Gwen stared at the company strangely and they stared back, though not strangely.   
Lara walked into the room wrapped in a towel and shouted "Dude it's the guys from Lord of the Rings!"  
"No kidding!" shouted Gwen.   
Now the Fellowship was trying to decide who to stare at: the towel garbed Lara or the shirtless Gwen.   
"Mr. Frodo where are we?" asked Sam   
"In a very, very, good place. Now shut up"   
"Lara" said Gwen, "Put some clothes on now!"  
"You too!" Lara shouted as she left the room.   
Gwen grabbed a shirt and puts it on.   
"How the hell did you get here?" asked Gwen   
"We don't know."   
"I should inform you that you aren't supposed to exist, according to the laws of science, but since your here, Hell with the laws of science!"   
"What is this science you speak of?"   
Gwen sighed "Never mind."   
Lara came back into the room.   
"OK, if they are going to stay with us then we have to do something about those clothes."  
"All right, I'm going to get you some clothes. What are your sizes?"  
"What are these sizes you speak of?"  
"I think there is a tag in my pants somewhere" Legolas says.  
"OK I'll find it," said Gwen. She walked over to him and put a hand down his pants.   
"You lucky......." Lara muttered.   
Legolas jumped "What are you doing?"   
"I need to know what size your pants are. To do this I must find the tag. Unless you know where the tag is I keep doing this."   
Legolas smiled and kept his mouth shut.   
"OK, I think its in the front," Gwen mutters and moved her hand accordingly.   
"Oooooohhhhhhhhh kaaaaaay....." said Legoals happily.   
"Shut up," said Gwen, "I'm not in the mood. No wait there it is. Damn it's written in elvish! How am I supposed to read this? Oh what the Hell, I'll just guess!"  
Gwen said to Lara: "Watch them. Make sure they don't do anything stupid or leave. We don't want them loose in New York city, heaven forbid"  
Gwen left.   
Lara stared at the people who had just appeared in her apartment and wondered what the Hell she was going to do. All she knew was that she was in deep, deep, shit.   
"So," Lara said, wondering what she is supposed to say.   
The Fellowship start marveling at the technological wonders in this fantasy world.   
"Ooohhhhh look at this thing!" shouts Legolas, "I don't know what it does but it is pretty."  
Legolas turns on the TV without realizing what he is doing. He is spellbound by the images on the glowly box thingy. Slowly the rest of the Fellowship, minus Aragorn, are drawn to the glowy box thingy.   
Gwen walked back into the apartment. Lara muttered something unintelegible. She looked at the rest of them who were transfixed by the TV.   
Gwen walked over with the clothes.  
"Here put these on."  
Legolas said "Hey these are from Hot Topic, I just saw a commercial about these!"   
"Just put them on!"   
They all look incredibly snappy in their new clothes. Gwen admired how well the little kids clothes fit the hobbits. Sadly Frodo had a Sesame street logo on his shirt.   
Gwen said to the hobbits: "You have to pretend to be kids. That means no drinking and no smoking!"  
"Damn!" shouted all four hobbits  
"Watch your mouth, Children."  
All of a sudden Gwen couldn't stop staring at Legolas. She was imaging what would have happened if she hadn't left. She said halfway in a dream state "You're pretty."  
Legolas nods "Yes, I have been told that before."  
Suddenly the phone rang. Lara picked up the phone.   
"Hello? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm sorry but I can't come, I ate something rotten and I will be in tomorrow bye."   
Lara slammed down the phone.   
"OK, we are going to teach what it is like to live in modern New York."  
Legolas raises his hand. "When do we get to eat?"  
"Only if you're good, now shut up! We are getting in the car!"  
"What's a car?"  
"Don't ask questions, just come with me."   
The whole group went outside to the SUV.   
"Ooooohhhhhhh, big shiny thingy, " Pippin said  
"Yes," Lara said "Now for seating: Gwen drive, Legolas next to Gwen, everybody else: back seat-figure it out!"   
"Oh damn," said Lara "Nowhere to sit."  
"You can sit on me," said Aragorn.   
"OK, lets hope no cops drive by."  
"What's a cop?"  
"Knowing you people, you'll find out soon."  
Lara got in and sat on Aragorn's lap   
Gwen started the car and began to drive, pointing out important landmarks and other things.  
After a few hours Lara asked: "Who is our president?"  
Everybody shouted "Frank!"  
"OK, you guys are modern enough. Now lets get some Chinese food!"  
They pulled up in front of a Chinese restaurant.   
Everyone acted very well during dinner.  
They began to open their fortune cookies.  
"'The green bicycle crows at midnight'," gasped Legolas, "What?"  
"It's just a fortune cookie," Lara said, "Look at mine. It says 'You will hit your head on a large goat'."  
Gwen said "'Beware of dark green Oldsmobiles'. That's what we have!"  
"Time to buy a new car!" everyone said  
Boromir said, "'Your dog will start to eat foods beginning with the number 10'. Hey I don't have a dog!"  
Frodo said: "'Your fish will explode'?" Frodo pushed his Flounder Lo Mien away with a worried expression on his face.   
Sam looks at his. "'The football player is hiding something'."  
Pippin and Merry, who were sharing a cookie, read theirs aloud. "'It's time for the Final Countdown, stock up on Mountain Dew.'"  
Aragorn reads his aloud. "'You will find true love with the person sitting next to you'."  
"Awwww Legolas" said Aragorn, looking to his left.   
"Excuse me...." said Lara who was sitting to Aragorn's right.  
Aragorn shook himself out of it began to obsess over Lara.   
All of a sudden Frodo's flounder Lo Mien exploded.   
"Oh! My fortune came true!" shouted Frodo  
They all bolted from the restaurant. Lara hastily left money. They jumped into the Oldsmobile, which broke down instantly.  
"Oh my god! The fortune!" shouted Gwen.   
Suddenly a dog jumps in front of them. Boromir goes "Awwww! He's so cute. I'm gonna keep him. I'm going to call him Mikey!"  
The group started to walk home. As they walked, Lara said to Gwen "Forget what I said earlier about nothing ever happening to us."  
  
The next morning, Lara and Gwen had to report to work.   
They gave Aragorn and Legolas money since they seemed to be the smartest.   
"OK, go to the store and buy some food for the dog."  
"His name is Mikey!!!!" shouted Boromir.  
"Whatever. Just don't screw this up."   
"OK," said Legolas and Aragorn.  
The Fellowship left for the store, leaving Boromir and Mikey to bond in the apartment.  
They bought generic brand dog food for Mikey and at the request of Merry and Pippin they bought a lot of Mountain Dew. When they got back, Mikey refused to eat the food. So they started to feed Mikey whatever things that were edible but he only ate foods beginning with the number 10.   
Boromir gasped. "Oh no, the fortune!"  
"They are all coming true one by one!" said Legolas.   
Aragorn said "Cool!"   
Merry and Pippin were busy drinking all the Mountain Dew in sight. They began to run around like crazy and bounce off the walls.   
"OK, what's going on?" Legolas asked.  
Aragorn looked at the bottle. "1000000 grams of sugar per serving! They have had 24 bottles!"  
"OK, Merry, Pippin, we are cutting you off!" He grabbed all the other bottles and hid them. Mikey chews his "10" foods.   
Merry and Pippin began to sing "The Final Countdown" by Europe, a dead 80's hair band.  
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!! THE FORTUNES!!!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone exclaimed.   
Then Gwen ran into the house. "Aragorn, drive to the hospital!" she said, throwing him the keys to the repaired Oldsmobile. "Lara was hit on the head by a large goat!"  
Aragorn rushed to the hospital where Lara was lying on the bed. She was fine except for a deep gash in her forehead. "Aragorn, you came."  
"Of course, Lara, I love you," Aragorn said holding her hand.  
"I love you too, Aragorn. Lets go home, they're done treating my wound," Lara said.  
They walked to the Oldsmobile and drove back to the apartment where Merry and Pippin were still bouncing off the walls.   
Sam was watching an interview on ESPN with a football player named Jeff Gor-Winstead.  
Jeff Gor-Winstead was being all goofy with the interviewer and stammering a lot.   
"HA! I bet he's hiding something," Sam guessed. Just like my fortune, he thought.  
Suddenly, Jeff Gor-Winstead exclaimed, "Yes its true! I'm hiding something! I have a crush on the actor who plays Sam in the Lord of the Rings!"   
"My fortune," Sam explained, "I knew it, 'The football player is hiding something' it said and he was."  
"Oh Sam shut up," Frodo said, "These fortunes are starting to creep me out."  
"Yeah" said Sam   
"It's the Final Countdown," Pippin and Merry sang still on their soda high.   
Boromir was feeding Mikey his "10" foods, quite happily. He petted and hugged the little furry thing. Gwen and Legolas were doing some petting and hugging of their own.   
Gwen said to Legolas "Hey, you wanna go out tonight?"  
"Sure," said Legolas, who was totally absorbed in her vivid green eyes.   
Aragorn and Lara walked in holding each others hands and snuggling close. Lara tossed the keys to Gwen and said "If you need us, just be patient for a few hours."  
. Lara tossed a 20-dollar bill to Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin and Boromir. "Here. Go somewhere and take the mutt with you."   
"Mikey!" shouted Boromir.   
Legolas and Gwen drove off to the Chinese restaurant to eat being quite hungry.   
"Hey, my fortune says 'True love is sitting right across from you'."   
Gwen looked shocked "Hey so does mine... Freaky......."  
  
  
Much later:  
  
Legolas and Gwen were walking through Central Park. Legolas had his arms wrapped around Gwen, kissing her every five seconds, taking in the scent of her perfume. They sat down on a park bench very close together, holding on tight.   
"Legolas, I don't want this night to end," Gwen said.   
Suddenly, a green bicycle rode by without a rider, crowing. "Must be midnight," Legolas muttered.   
"I think all of the fortunes have come true," Gwen said.   
"Who cares?" Legolas replied, "I love you." He kissed her very passionately.   
Suddenly Merry and Pippin ran by screaming "The Final Countdown" at the top of their lungs. Then Boromir ran by with Mikey pulling him along on a leash.   
  
  
Meanwhile Aragorn and Lara were sitting on the couch, abosorbed in each other. Lara was curling her fingers around Aragorn's gorgeous long hair. They kissed again and Aragorn said "We should call Legolas and Gwen and tell they can have the apartment now."   
  
Gwen and Legolas were still on the bench when Gwen's cell phone rang.   
After talking Gwen said "Aragorn and Lara are going to walk to the movie theater across the street. We can have the house now."  
"Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Legolas said. They got in the dark green Oldsmobile and drove off.   
Meanwhile Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Boromir and Mikey were still in Central Park wreaking havoc.   
  
At the apartment, Legolas and Gwen were getting very cozy. They weren't having sex as much as cuddling and talking. The fact that they can't think of anything to say except "I love you" didn't stop them.   
Legolas whispered softly "You know, Gwen, I never thought I'd say this, but I never want to be with anyone but you ever again."   
  
Meanwhile at the theater where Lara and Aragorn were watching 'The Fellowship of the Ring', Aragorn had his arms wrapped tight around Lara and Lara was kissing Aragorn continually.   
Aragorn whispered softly "You know, Lara, I never thought I'd say this, but I never wanna be with anyone but you."   
Both Lara and Gwen are the happiest women in the world (and rightfully so).  
  
Meanwhile back in the time, place and dimension of the Lord of the Rings, Gimli is still searching in vain for the missing Fellowship.  
  
  
The next night after bailing Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Boromir and Mikey out of jail for disturbing the peace, the play happened and the Fellowship was in the audience.   
Lara and Gwen performed their small parts to perfection and were showered with roses by Aragorn and Legolas after theshow.   
After that, they went back to the apartment to drop off Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Boromir, and Mikey who are under house arrest until their trial in May.   
Then Aragorn, Lara, Legolas, and Gwen all drove to the nearest court building.   
"Are you guys sure you wanna do this?" Gwen and Lara asked Legolas and Aragorn.   
"Yes" they answered. After seeing a couple elope on a daytime soap opera, Aragorn and Legolas wanted to marry Gwen and Lara.   
The girls, of course, had no objections.   
After the marriage licenses were signed, (Aragorn and Legolas took on Lara and Gwen's last names) they all went home and lived happily ever after.   
  
THE END  
  
P.S. They never went back and therefore the dark lord, Sauron, was never vanquished and the time, place and dimension of Middle Earth was doomed. But who cares? Lara and Gwen were happy  
now and thaws all that matters. And Arwen Undomiel had to go off and marry Eomer because he was the only guy left in Middle Earth  
P.P.S. Actually, no, since we're planning a Chapter 2. They do go back and it is not the end. 


	2. Chapter 2: Going Back

(Authors' Note: Christa and I never thought we'd write another chapter, but we did. And yes, there will be more, eventually.)  
  
Disclaimer: Christa and I do not own Lord of the Rings. Lara and Gwen are us. We do not own Mountain Dew either. The Coven of Darkness is a fictitious band.  
  
Chapter 2: The Return to Middle Earth  
  
The sun was shining on New York City that day. It was all shiny and stuff. But, anyway, Legolas Greenleaf was getting up to go to work in the studio apartment that he shared with several other people. It was quite crowded, what with the entire fellowship of the Ring being there (minus Gimli and Gandalf who were still in Middle Earth somewhere). It had been about a year since he and his comrades had been transported to Middle Earth by the use of a small glowy stone. Legolas was now happily married to a normal (well, as normal as you can get) modern woman named Gwen and was working as a meteorologist for a local weather station. The fact that he knew nothing about weather did not stop him from doing his job.  
  
Sam was in the kitchenette of the apartment, making coffee. "Hello Legolas! Top of the morning to you."  
  
"Hello Sam," Legolas said, "Is anyone else awake?"  
  
"Just me and Mr. Frodo."  
  
"You know Sam, it's been a year since we left Middle Earth, you don't have to call him 'Mr.' anymore. Relax, chill," Legolas suggested.  
  
"Well, it reminds me of home…"   
  
"Suit yourself. I personally LOVE it here!" He looked at his watch and realized that he was late. "Sorry Sam, gotta go!" Legolas ran out of the door, briefcase in hand.  
  
The next person to awaken was Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of Gondor, chief of the Dunedain, and FORMER fiancee of Arwen Undomiel daughter of Elrond Half-Elven. He was now married to a girl named Lara and was a member of an unsuccessful rock band called 'The Coven of Darkness'.   
  
"Morning Sam!" Called Aragorn as he entered the kitchen.  
  
Before anyone could say another word, Merry and Pippin charged the kitchen, dressed in pajamas with bunny feet. "What's for breakfast, Sam?" exclaimed Pippin.  
  
Merry was trying to look as subdued as possible, considering that he was supposed to be the serious one and all.   
  
"For you two, nothing with SUGAR," Sam said, with extra emphasis on the word 'sugar'.   
  
"What?" Merry said, "We haven't had Mountian Dew in weeks!"  
  
"That's because we haven't been BUYING it for you," Sam said, "Not since the last time! The neighbor's poor cat will never be the same!"  
  
"It's not our fault that the cat was allergic to fish food!"  
  
Aragorn sighed heavily. Lara and Gwen walked in, looking very tired.   
  
"Good morning Sam. I hope you have coffee. Lots of coffee. I hope to GOD you have coffee," muttered Gwen.  
  
Lara walked over to Aragorn and gave him a light kiss. "Good morning honey. Do you have work today?"  
  
"You mean rehearsal?"  
  
"Yeah. Sam, coffee please. I have drama rehearsal with the evil drama company and the evil drama director."  
  
"Okaaaaaaaaayyy," Sam said warily, "Here's your coffee. Now back away."  
  
"Sorry Sam, it's just that life sucks, even though we are married to the two hottest and sweetest guys ever born, and we have a house full of friends who aren't even supposed to exist: Life. Still. Sucks."  
  
"Why is that, do you think?" asked Frodo, who had just walked in.  
  
"It's our jobs," Gwen said.  
  
"Well, why don't you quit?"  
  
"You see, we're supposed to have this thing called loyalty."  
  
"Oh, I see. Now I have to watch my stories, excuse me." Frodo made a beeline for the television.  
  
Boromir walked in. He didn't look that good. He looked like he had been drinking, even though he had never touched alcohol. He hadn't been able to find a job in a year. Although he had tried, most notably as a clown for the parties of small children. His mutt Mikey, trotted behind him, looking quite cheerful, considering that he was a dog and had no cares.  
  
Boromir didn't say much. He just sat down and drank the coffee Sam offered to him.   
  
"Lordy, look at the time!" Lara exclaimed as she looked at the clock, "We gotta get out of here!" She and Gwen left the house. Aragorn followed them out of the apartment, guitar in hand, headed for rehearsal in a semi-decent part of town.   
  
Boromir faced the hobbits. "What do you guys think you're going to do today?"  
  
Frodo said something about not going out so he wouldn't miss his soaps.  
  
Merry and Pippin said "Uh, we're going…shopping! Yes, uh, shopping!"  
  
"NO MOUNTAIN DEW!" Sam shouted.  
  
"We wouldn't dream of it," Merry said sarcastically. Merry and Pippin darted out of the apartment.  
  
Boromir turned to Sam. "What are you doing today?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I really miss living in Middle Earth, It seems like it was so much better back then."  
  
Boromir laughed softly. "Hey, I know what you mean. But hey, I've got Mikey now, so it's all good." At the mention of his name, Mikey jumped up and down happily.  
  
Sam launched into a vehement tirade. "Yeah, I know. Everyone has found something good in New York. Something that makes them happy. Something that brightens their pathetic, miserable existence on this planet. Frodo has his soap operas, Merry and Pippin have discovered the wonders of sugar, Aragorn has Lara and his band, Legolas has Gwen and his weather reporting job-everyone has found SOMETHING. Except for me."  
  
"Oh. Well, I hope you find something," Boromir said casually.   
  
Sam seemed not to hear him. He just stared blankly into space. He had a way to send them ALL back to Middle Earth. He knew a way to get everyone back. He couldn't do it yet, but soon…  
  
Boromir jumped about ten feet in the air when he heard Sam muttering something about 'soon, my precious, soon'.  
  
Later that evening, everyone was at home except for Merry and Pippin. Legolas was boring Gwen to tears with tales of his exploits in the wide, wide world of meteorology. Aragorn was playing Lara some of the band's latest music, music that was so bad, that he probably came up with it in the last second.   
  
Frodo was still glued to the TV, watching Guiding Light for the 90th time that day. Boromir was drinking a mug of root beer and playing solitaire with Mikey at his feet. Sam, for some reason, was sitting cross-legged in a corner near Boromir, rocking back and forth, stroking something no one could see. He was muttering "My….precious…." in a raspy voice.  
  
Boromir sighed heavily and turned to look at Sam. "My God Sam, you sound just like that Gollum chap, what is with you?" Boromir leaned over Sam's shoulder and gasped as he saw the small blue glowy stone that had started this whole mess in the first place.  
  
When Sam noticed that Boromir saw it, he leaped in front of the television and held the stone up on high shouting "YES! Yes! I have the power to take you ALL back to Middle Earth. Yes! YES!"  
  
Frodo shouted "Sam! You're blocking the screen I CAN'T SEE TONY AND MARA!"  
  
All of a sudden, Merry and Pippin burst in, carrying bags of various sizes and quantities of Mountain Dew.   
  
"Hey, it's that strange thing that transported us to another time, place, and dimension!" Boromir exclaimed.  
  
Suddenly, there was a great blast of light and everyone disappeared. 


End file.
